The name BDSM conjures up images of whips, chains and an Amazonian dominatrix clad in shiny latex suits. Well, for me at least.
BDSM stands for Bondage, Domination, Sadism and Machoism. While long regarded as a fringe fetish, the combination of BDSM techniques with more mainstream genres of sexual exploration has created hybrid experiences that transcend the usual. A perfect example of this is ‘Bondassage’.
Bondassage is the combination of bondage techniques into an erotic massage with elements of sensation play thrown in for good measure. It can be as gentle or harsh as the participants prefer. Besides a massage table or bed, all manner of accessories can enhance the interplay, including:
- Massage oils;
- Satin sheets;
- Sex toys.
For sensation play, even simple things around the home like combs, spatulas, forks and ice cubes can make for an enhanced experience of both pain and pleasure. Cordless earphones playing conducive music are another excellent addition to the Bondassage experience.
The Bondassage Encounter
Prior to any sexual experience, it is essential that every participant is aware of what the other(s) needs, wants and limitations are. Be honest with your expectations from the encounter and ensure that you are all on the same page. If needed, set a ‘safe word’ or gesture that will allow you to explore your limits and experience the maximum amount of pleasure without fear.
The session can start with one partner lying on their front. Their wrists and ankles will be bound either in an ‘X’ or whichever position they prefer, with the headphones if they choose. The other partner can then start the massage with the oil, using the hands and whichever other part of the body they want. Alternate between silky, feather-like strokes and deep kneading.
Pinches, tugs of their hair, spanks and fingernails or other objects drawn across the skin will deliver the right amount of exquisite pain and pleasure together. Love bites and mall nips with your teeth are some of the most effective combinations of both.
After you are finished with this side, adjust the restraints, turn them over and re-adjust the restraints and headphones as necessary.
Begin the same process of delivering pain and pleasure simultaneously with a combination of BDSM and massage, this time concentrating on the most sensitive regions of the nipples and genital area. Light touches across the face are very erotic.
The experience can last as long as you both like – prolonging the release by teasing and then denying an orgasm I one of the most effective techniques for an explosion of heavenly pleasure when it does come.
An orgasm is not the end of the Bondasage experience. Wipe the recipient down and release them from their bonds. Sometimes a warm, relaxing shower taken together is the perfect culmination to the sensual rollercoaster of the experience. Connect with your partner and discover what they loved most so that subsequent meetings will be even more pleasurable for you both.
There are no limits to the objects or techniques that you can employ in Bondassage – so long as it delivers the right amount of pleasure and pain that you both agree to, go for it!