When Should You Ask for Threesome?

Ahhh, the threesome. Fertile ground for imagination from your teenage years, the ultimate story to share with your friends and the stuff of lifelong memories. Threesomes can strengthen a relationship if done right, but can have completely the opposite effect if you fall into one of the many potential traps.

Here is our guide to doing it right and getting it right.

When Should You Ask for Threesome photo 1

Are you ready for the best time of your life?

A threesome is a significant step to take because it invites someone into your bed who has the potential to upset the balance your partner and you have established over the course of your relationship. The Hollywood movie ‘Sex Monster’ illustrated that perfectly – the protagonist got exactly what he wanted but the subsequent events went in a completely unforeseen direction.

First of all, only find the courage to raise the question with your wife or girlfriend if you have been together for a decent amount of time. If you avoid this golden rule, you risk coming across as a sleaze and/or manipulative.

And if you have never even consummated your relationship, the prospect of a threesome is something that is best left alone. Apart from again seeming sleazy, it suggests that you think your partner is incapable of satisfying you in bed. That’s a mighty high bar to set for yourself.

Also, the question implies that you deem yourself capable of satisfying multiple women at once, so ask yourself – are you? There are few things worse than under-performing in front of both your partner and another person.

Picking the Lucky Girl

Yes, girl. Please make sure that when you do raise the issue of a threesome, you specify in no uncertain terms that you are thinking of a girl-guy-girl combo. Now that that ground rule has been established, we can proceed.

Many times, the very question of a threesome arises from you fantasising about a girl you or both of you know. However, this is very dangerous territory and you should tread lightly.

The best approach is to raise the possibility of a threesome without mentioning any specific person. Renting a movie with a threesome scene (again, people – girl-guy-girl scene) is a gentle way to broach the subject without seeming pushy.

Most girls already know that guys fantasise about threesomes. Gentle hints like these will allow her to consider the prospect on her own without overt prodding from you.

Finding the right girl might be harder than getting your partner to agree. Here are a few possibilities to consider:

  1. A mutual friend, preferably closer to her – this creates a ‘safe’ environment for your partner.
  2. A vacation threesome – hooking up with an attractive stranger in an exotic location, no baggage.
  3. Dating sites – many dating and classified sites have ads specifically for people looking for a threesome partner. Just make sure to vet the person thoroughly before you commit.

Remember, your partner is taking a major step and allowing another woman in your bed – always let her choose the girl. Try to settle on someone you are confident will strengthen your relationship, not complicate it. And remember, safe sex is the best sex.

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