For most people, foreplay is the most exciting part of any sexual encounter. It can be made as short or as long as possible, and can include virtually anything that turns you on. One of the trends in foreplay that is seeing quite a bit of pickup recently is light BDSM. This is due in no small part to an innocuous little invention – the bondage candle.
A bondage candle, also called a BDSM candle, often looks virtually identical to a regular candle. However, it is made of a special type of wax that does not burn at the same high temperature as normal wax candles. Inventive manufacturers have also released edible versions to bring candle play to an entirely new level.
In much the same way that massage candles are often infused with scents to give off pleasing aromas, BDSM candles can also be found in a variety of aromas. They are also available in a wide variety of shapes, sizes and colours. Some are created specifically to be very pliable when heated so that they can be used almost as a body paint.
What’s So Special about BDSM Candles?
Traditionally, candles have been made from tallow (animal fat) and beeswax (much less common because it is much more expensive). However, these candles burn at a very high temperature and are therefore not entirely suitable for BDSM play for most couples.
Bondage candles are made from a specially-conceived form of wax that burns at about the same speed as regular candles but does so at a much lower temperature. This allows the melted wax to be dripped on someone without causing the piercing sting of pain that normal candles would cause. In fact, there have been cases where people have had to seek medical attention for burns caused by regular candle wax.
This lower melting point makes bondage candles ideal for couples who are venturing into the world of BDSM for the first time, or for those with sensitive skin. One thing to note is that each one of us has a different pain threshold and that what may feel acceptable to one person may be excruciatingly painful to another.
Before You Begin
The best way to gauge what your own level of pain sensitivity is to drip a little bit of the wax onto the back of your hand. Both of you should do this so you can judge what works for you individually. The next step is to drip it onto your back or shoulders. This is because different parts of the body have different sensitivity levels.
Make sure that you are both comfortable with the pain caused by the particular brand of candles that you are using. Remember that if you change brands, you might have to go through this process again. Decide on a ‘safe word’ before you begin your BDSM session to ensure that you are both always comfortable with the pain and the scenario.
Massage Candle Tricks
Bondage candles are a novel way of adding zing to your bedroom life without going all the way into handcuffs and leather gear. They are a nice blend of the pain element while remaining true to their gentler roots with appealing aromas and sometimes even taste.
Some BDSM candles can also be used as body paint – the consistency of the melted wax is just right that it can be spread over the body as artistic expression while causing exquisite ripples of delicious pain over the ‘canvas’. This can be done just with the hands or using an actual brush.
However, most couples use these candles as drips. By tilting the candle further, more melted wax can drip down and cause even more pleasure/pain. To adjust the amount of sensation being inflicted, the dominant partner can raise the candle higher; the increased time that the wax takes t reach the flesh makes it marginally cooler and the pain, more bearable.
Of course, keep in mind that as more hot wax is dripped onto a particular area, the more sensitive the flesh there becomes. Continuously dripping wax on the same spot will cause the level of pain to rise exponentially.
This is when having a safe word is essential. Some couples use the traffic light system instead – green means everything is fine, yellow indicates that the pain is approaching the recipient’s limits, and red means stop. Abide by your agreed system at all times.
Playing with dripping wax can be a lot of fun. However, be careful where it goes. Always remember that it is meant for external use only – avoid getting wax into any body openings as this may lead to injury. Also be very careful around the face and the eyes in particular. Getting wax out of hair is very difficult – make sure to avoid hair and try to shave/wax before you indulge in candle play.
Apart from parts of the body, care should also be taken that wax does not come in contact with fabrics around the home. This includes bedsheets, mattresses, carpets and towels. A large plastic sheet can act as a convenient protective barrier and should be placed over the area where you will be using the candles before you begin.
BDSM can become an exciting part of your sexual life if it is done right so both partners can get the most enjoyment out of the experience. The most essential element to a vibrant BDSM sex life is being absolutely clear where the limits are for each individual. Here are some tips to make sure that your bondage candle escapades bring you closer while delivering the perfect mix of pain and pleasure:
- Know your safety system. Discuss the safe word and colour system before you begin so there are no confusions.
- Avoid the face and body orifices at all times.
- Start slow and work your way into more intense pain – this is both safe and makes foreplay more pleasurable.
- Always keep safe when there is an open flame – clothes, oils and plastic sheets can all catch fire.