Perfecting the Crescendo
Using Sensual Massage to Induce and Magnify Her Orgasm Erotic massage should be a part of any loving couple’s relationship. It is one of the most intimate acts that you can perform together while at the same time not necessarily indulge in actual intercourse. This makes it the ideal option for when you want to heat things up, or just keep the simmering sexual tension as taut as piano wire, sort of like a tantric experience with all the pleasure but without years of training. Done right, sexual massage can make any woman undergo a physical and mental transformation. It does not only send blood flowing to all her erogenous zones but it lights the brain up like a Christmas tree. Apart from the myriad erotic benefits, massage also rejuvenates the body, mind and soul. It is great for releasing stress from muscles that inhibit the experience of any physical pleasure, accelerate repair of tissue that restricts movement and improves mental function and acuity. However, your focus and mine, considering the topic of this article is quite specifically on the erotic elements of the practice of massage.
Chapter 1: Female Sexuality and Your Relationship
This guide to sensual massage is not the usual ‘beginner’s guide’ type of article that you can find all over the internet. No, this is a detailed, informed and, most importantly, effective, way to take a woman from being completely uninterested to highly aroused and looking to you to satisfy her cravings. This is achieved not just by stimulating her body with the sense of touch but, perhaps even more importantly, by putting at ease the mental and emotional tensions that so often become the barriers to having orgasms. The result is a stronger relationship based on a foundation of frequent and more powerful, and even full-body orgasms.
Understanding Women’s Sexuality through Their Arousal
Many studies have shown that women fake orgasms with their partners more often than men. The results indicate that women pretend to climax twice as often as their male counterparts. The most common reason given for this was that individuals wanted the sexual encounter to end without creating awkwardness or unpleasantness between themselves and their partner. What we can take away from these results is that, firstly, there are expectations that most of us have from every sexual experience. Secondly, we know that women are more affected by these expectations than men. One of the reasons for this rather significant difference in the degree to which men and women fake a climax is the corresponding difference in the way the two sexes experience arousal. The male orgasm cycle is an extreme high which is always ready to peak, albeit briefly. On the other hand, the female orgasm cycle is an extended process that requires prolonged attention but lasts considerably longer. Men can dissociate their mental stresses from their sexual relationships, which means that they are ready to have a sexual encounter at almost any time. Rather than inhibiting their sexual desire, orgasms can actually act as stress relief. Conversely, stress in a woman’s life plays havoc with her sexual desire. Elevated tension levels in females reduce their capacity to become aroused and even more their ability to have an orgasm. A number of stressors can have their impact on women making it difficult for them to become aroused or achieve orgasm. This is the typical situation where a woman may fake an orgasm with her partner so the relationship does not suffer. However, this does take a toll on her emotionally, especially if it continues for an extended period. These divergent consequences and symptoms between the sexes has been clinically demonstrated but they are not understood well.
How Stress Manifests Differently in Men and Women
The difference between the physical manifestations of stress, tension and other factors in the sexual life of women, as compared to that of men, is arguably the prime reason that women have frequently been accused of not being as enthusiastic about sex. For men, it has been a battle to keep their partners interested without fully comprehending the nuanced approach that is essential. That is one of the reasons that erotic massage works so well – it satisfies the gamut of requirements for both males and females to attain sexual fulfilment. Using it in the bedroom can rejuvenate a flagging sex life, and further enhance one that is progressing normally.
Managing Stress and Tension to Enhance the Female Orgasm (And Your Relationship)
It is necessary not just to understand the factors that affect your female partner’s ability and inclination to orgasm but also to appreciate how the removal of those negative factors can have the opposite effect. We have to discuss the mental and physical symptoms of emotional stress so you can recognise them for what they are. It is only through that realisation that a couple can overcome bumpy patches in their sexual relationship and forge one that is stronger than ever. Things to look out or are:
- General discomfort;
- Muscle soreness, especially in the back and feet;
- Vaginal tightness and dryness.
Not all these may be present, and different symptoms altogether may manifest; it all depends on the individual. Using the methods that we will discuss here, you will be able to alleviate them and lay the foundation for a vastly improved sex life. This is achieved through massage techniques that increase and streamline the flow of blood to muscles and other tissue. They can be combined with ancient breathing techniques to enhance pleasure and prolong orgasms, too. Perhaps the most positive and rewarding result of these methods is that it strengthens the bond between a couple, becoming the spark for greater feelings of mutual empathy, understanding and sexual confidence.
The Biology of the Vagina
The vagina contains large amounts of muscle tissue. In this way, it is very similar to other muscles found in the body. Manipulating the flesh and muscles around the hips, buttocks and thighs will relax all these muscles and the ones in the vaginal and combat involuntary and/or extreme tightness.
Kegel exercises strengthen the same muscle inside the vagina that is liked to female ejaculation, commonly referred to as ‘squirting’. Many women are reluctant to compete relax the vaginal muscles during intercourse because the build-up of tension prior to their ejaculation feels very similar to urination. They are embarrassed about the phenomenon and sometimes do not even know that it exists. Erotic massage can help to alleviate these fears and tensions, resulting in a relaxed state that is conducive to powerful, full-body orgasms accompanied by ejaculation.
While the status and general public perception of sex and the sexually-liberated woman has changed significantly in the recent past, women still have to overcome centuries of being repressed and their sexuality considered a source of shame. This is particularly prevalent in certain cultures that are trapped in male-dominant patriarchies which are very resistant to sexual progress. Fortunately, this process of change is well underway in normal society and subjects and topics previously considered taboo are not only discussed openly but receive unprecedented attention. One of these topics is the shame associated with being unable to satisfy her male partner sexually. The effect of this was not only cultural but also internal, where the woman punished herself mentally more than anyone else. Overcoming this entrenched stigma can be difficult, but it is not impossible. Erotic massage is the perfect tool to employ in trying to break down these barriers and starting afresh with a healthy understanding and appreciation of the abilities and possibilities of the female body.
Using Massage to Bring You Closer
Couples often drift apart when one or both of them feel that their sexual meets are not being met, either intentionally or unintentionally, by the other partner. This results in a growing chasm that ultimately consumes the relationship. Couples often fail to recognize the signs in each other because men are more sensitive towards their physical needs not being met whereas women perceive emotional neglect more acutely. In this way, the problem entrenches itself without either partner even realising that it exists. Recognising and addressing such a problem can be tricky, especially since males and females do not place equal emphasis on physical and emotional needs. This can lead to a perception that the individual is putting in considerable effort but those efforts are not being reciprocated. Erotic massage is a technique that allows for both needs to be met in a neutral setting where all feelings and all physical touch can coexist to repair past damage. This is because the everyday stress of your career, the household, kids and financial commitments can play havoc with any relationship. Sharing the experience of a sensual massage can initiate the opening of a gateway that eases the stress of partner, no matter its source. So, regardless of whether every member of a couple understand the nature of the other’s needs, they can be met and quelled. Of course, there can arise a perception that the practice of erotic massage used in this sense is not genuine, and is a selfish way of giving someone what they want without creating a real bond. This is far from the truth. Erotic massage is never offered as a complete overhaul or a marriage counsellor; it is the basis of the trust which you can build with your partner to overcome barriers that cannot be addressed with normal conversation and/or sex. Ultimately, the goal is about making the relationship stronger and allowing the couple to develop a trusting, intimate relationship.
Massage to Salvage, Repair and/or Enhance Your Bond
Sexual bliss is, or should be, a target for every couple. It involves enjoying a level of mutual understanding and reciprocation in the bedroom which surpasses the ordinary sex act in terms of both frequency and variety. Again, erotic massage is the ideal candidate to push you towards your goal of a blissful sexual relationship. Sexual massage is effective because there is such a wide spectrum o levels of intimacy that it entails. At the very basic end of the scale are the simple touches that would appear innocuous even if practised in public. On the other end is overt sexual contact that involves stimulating your partner using various parts of your own body. The level of intimacy does not have to differ as you go from one end to the other of the scale; erotic massage encompasses them all in its philosophy and practice. The sharing of this wide, versatile practice that surpasses ordinary sexual contact will act as a bridge to bring you together closer. The deeply satisfying levels of arousal that it creates have a psychological effect in taking you from ordinary lovers to two individuals fused together in a cocoon of warmth and pleasure. Do not feel intimidated or awed when reading this description; too often, people think that they are incapable or unworthy of such intense gratification and intimacy. You are not. It is in your hands and all you have to do is use them.
Chapter 2: Understanding the Fundamentals of Erotic Massage
The goal of erotic bliss though sensual massage is a tangible goal. Like any other goal in life, it is possible to attain if you take a systematic approach. In our approach, we split the goal into three elements that together create the perfect platform through which it can be attained. These three elements are the Mindset, the Environment and the Techniques.
Anything that manifests physically has its roots in the mind. The right mindset can overcome seemingly insurmountable odds and give you an advantage where you thought you were disadvantaged. Key to having the right mindset is a clear and deliberate understanding of what your goals and the steps you will take to achieve them. And the best way to obtain these is to ask yourself the right questions. Before you begin a massage, you have to consider these factors:
- What do my partner and I intend to achieve with this shared experience?
- Are we in the right frame of mind to be able to achieve those goals?
- Do we trust each other enough to be able to obtain the maximum possible benefits here?
- Do we know each other well enough to be able to understand what the other is feeling and experiencing?
In using these questions as the basis for what you want to do and achieve, you narrow your focus onto the things that matter instead of mental clutter. In this new, serene frame of mind, you can concentrate fully on visualising your goals and the means to reach them. The real magic is that they help you discover and consciously understand the scenario as a shared one with your partner. The mindset is your mind set on her.
We are each a product of our environment, and so is every relationship. The setting for every interaction that you have with your partner affects your long-term connection and rapport. That is especially true for experiences as intimate as erotic massage. Creating a conducive environment is not complicated. In fact, most of the basic considerations are really no-brainers which are quite readily obvious. Remove distractions, first of all. This includes phones and mobile devices and preferably create a zone completely free of electronics. If this is not possible, cover TVs and other similar devices so they are not visible. Secondly, add mood enhancers. The senses must be catered to – soft lighting for the eyes, soothing music for the ears and scented candles for the nose, perhaps. Finally, obtain all the accessories you need for the massage itself like the massage oil and the surface. With the latter, a bed may suffice so long as it is firm enough; more importantly, it should be comfortable for both you and your partner. However, you should cover it with material like plastic so the mattress and sheets do not get stained.
The technique refers to the physical manipulation of the flesh that is the essence of all massage. It is the ability to use your hands, forearms, elbows and knees to exert varying degrees of pressure in particular places and in particular ways. The right technique varies by the situation, the recipient and also by the aims that you have in mind for the massage. Not all techniques, no matter how advanced and effective in their own right, can be applied in any situation. Deciding on the correct one is not a science, nor is it an art, precisely. It is recognizing the response to touches from your partner and adapting the methods and actions to deliver the most pleasure and also to hold back just a little at the right time, just as in normal coitus, to build an extended crescendo of sweet oblivion. However, learning the right techniques as they are formally taught should be the basis of anyone who intends to deliver an erotic massage. There are five of them that we normally use and here is a brief overview.
Effleurage refers to the light touches that most massages are generally begun with. It involves gentle manipulation and caresses that get the circulation flowing, warm up your hands, and fire up the part of the recipient’s brain that responds to touch. Don’t try to apply any formal techniques at this stage. Simple sweeping movements that prolong the gentle contact work best and are most effective. More important is ensuring that you cover the entire body and touch as much skin as possible to set the scene for the eroticism to come.
This is the technique most commonly associated with massage. Anyone who has given a massage has started off using this method, which involves squeezing and manipulating flesh between the flat part of the thumb and the fingertips. It is best used for the neck, shoulders, upper arms, thighs, calves and buttocks.
Just as percussion in music refers to striking a surface, massage percussion is the striking of the flesh. Percussion is delivered using the bottom, fleshy part of the hand which is usually either held open (similar to a ‘karate chop’) or a closed fist. You can also give a percussion massage using just the tips of your fingers, which is suitable for delicate areas like the face. Percussion is usually delivered rapidly and can create a pleasurable vibrating sensation. However, some people like it more than others so start off very gently. The position of the hand used should vary depending on the part of the body being given attention. Percussion is excellent for use all over the body, of course, keeping in mind the sensitivity of the particular spot.
While almost all massage is technically friction-based, this particular technique focuses the friction to create heat that works well to release tension and knots. Here, the tips of the fingers and the flat part of the thumb are used to apply pressure to the flesh. Friction should be applied in a circular, side-to-side or up-and-down pattern. The intensity of the pressure should be varied because prolonged intense pressure can border on being painfully uncomfortable. It is the method used to give deep tissue massage which targets tissue further below the skin than most other techniques can effectively reach. Friction can be applied just as well all over the body.
While not strictly one of the techniques of massage, per se, stretching is almost always included as part of a massage routine. Stretching refers to gently coaxing a joint or a part of the body ever so slightly beyond its normal range of movement to loosen the muscles, tendons and ligaments in the region. Stretching can be applied to any joint of the body but must always be performed with extreme care. As with any erotic interaction, pay attention to your partner’s responses to each touch and movement. This is not only so you know how to arouse them but also because you have to intersperse the very effective techniques with normal or less intense touches to create a richer and more erotic experience.
Chapter 3: Erotic Massage – the Facts and the Science
From time to time, very robust debate is triggered over the alleged and proven benefits of massage. Because it is such an old practice and also partly because there has arisen a very lucrative industry around massage, it is not entirely surprising that people sometimes come under the impression that it is overhyped for profit. As with any product or service, there is a fringe minority that may choose shortcuts over substance in massage. However, massage is a proven tool for improving well-being, comfort, flexibility and tissue repair. It is employed as a medical option in physiotherapy and sports medicine. This is the result of over a century of detailed research performed by eminent names in related fields. The benefits range from increased flexibility of joints to accelerated recovery from injury to a psychological sense of wellbeing that accompanies a good session. These are not imagined but shown to be directly attributable to one or more massage sessions. To better understand the specific niche of erotic massage, we must first understand the importance of touch to the human psyche. It would indeed be a poor existence if he did not have our sense of touch. It begins with the first touch that bonds a newborn to its mother for life. It is cemented with intimate touch in adolescence and adulthood and continues to a final clasp of the hands as life ebbs away. Through all this, the sense of touch gives us untold satisfaction, pleasure and the capacity to bond with those we love, platonically or otherwise. It sears an association into our neurons of positivity through touch. Erotic massage uses the power of all these positive links to create a strong bond between the person giving and the one receiving a massage. It is an exchange of affirmative emotions through touch. The other thing to note is that allowing someone to touch you is itself an intimate act of trust. In this sense, simply having your partner agree to receive a massage, even if it is not an erotic one, should always be seen as a sign of positive reciprocation. They are acknowledging the bond you share and giving you the privilege of putting your hands on their body, something that few other people can are allowed to.
The Mechanics of Massage — How It Works
So why does getting a massage feel so good? Is it just a psychological association or is there really a chain of events that leads to that characteristic release of tension? One school of thought says that the brain reacts to pre-coded stimuli and releases endorphins, meaning that the process is largely chemical. The other is that the localised release of tension from a muscle is itself the primary source of the pleasure. The medical opinion on this varies but is largely based around two possible explanations. First is the increase in blood circulation and consequent surge in oxygenised blood triggered by the increase in pressure at a particular spot. The other is the accelerated removal of the waste material that accumulate at sore and knotted tissue and muscle. Either way, or possibly even both ways, may be entirely correct.
Massage and Eroticism
Combining two things that feel good is usually a great way to double the pleasure they provide. The inclusion of sexual touches and acts in a massage session or, conversely, enriching a sex session with elements of massage has that effect. When you combine certain sexual elements into your massage, erotic massage is born. However, the equation isn’t so simple. Massage does not only add pleasure, but it adds sexual pleasure with its own erotic elements that are not sexual outright but tantalizingly close. That is a good thing because there is a distinction between sexual massage and overt sex acts. It is a great addition to your bedroom repertoire while leaving enough room for imagination and possibilities to be as sensual or as casual as you like.
Major Schools of Massage
Massage has developed across the world in different cultures who never interacted and across great spans of time. This has led to several unique schools of massage that still exist today, as well as many that have been influenced by each other over the years. This is our guide to some of the most common ones that will allow you to develop the essential techniques to enhance your ability to give a good erotic massage.
The odds are that if you have received a massage in a Western country, it was based on a Swedish massage. Many of the techniques that we describe are essential elements of Swedish massage. The popularity of Swedish massage stems from its proven medical benefits, recognized and tested over many years. It is making huge inroads even in the East for the immediate pleasure that its techniques induce, and its wonderful ability to release stresses and strains that we accumulate every day in both sedentary and active lifestyles. Hey are a great addition to your sensual massage arsenal because of their ability to induce pleasure and relief in tired muscles and tissue while remaining strictly non-sexual. Kneading is one of the most popular movements in Swedish massage and works great on the shoulders, inner thighs and buttocks for this purpose.
As the name suggests, acupressure is a school of massage which teaches that the body benefits from the application of pressure at specific points on the surface of the skin. Acupressure is very similar, but needles replace the hands to apply stimulation directly to points under the skin. Acupressure was long dismissed as a ‘quack’ science or a scam. However, recent research has shown that it has immense potential to relieve and reverse a host of maladies without the use of drugs. There are hundreds (some say thousands) of pressure points arranged all over the body. Each one is associated with one or more organ, form and function of the body. An expert manipulates the point(s) which are associated with a particular complaint that a patient might have. Doing so is believed to jumpstart certain bodily functions and/or induce the body to respond in a desired way. Some of these pressure points are related to sexual desire, arousal and performance. Using the right pressure on the right point can transform a dull, lacklustre sex life into one of vibrant pleasure and experiences. Certain such points are given names, including ‘Bubbling Spring’ on the soles, ‘Mansion Cottage’ and ‘Rushing Door’ near the groin. More accurate descriptions are widely available and it can be a stimulating sexual exercise to attempt to discover them together with your partner even before you apply them as part of a sensual massage.
Ayurveda is a system of traditional medicine and healing practised in India for over three millennia. Aside from specific techniques and the application of pressure to specific points on the body as in acupressure, an essential element of Ayurvedic massage is the use of massage oils. Each oil is specially prepared for very specific purposes. The ingredients have not changed from what was set down by sages over many generations millennia ago, using a complex and arduous system of trial and error. Different oils may be combined for a wider range of benefits and it is believed that the inhalation of the fragrance of the ingredients is almost as effective as the effect the oils as they physically seep into your skin. Certain oils are designated as aids to sexual and amorous pursuits and these are best obtained from a certified Ayurveda store, preferably one which obtains its ingredients organically as was the case when the system was devised.
Shiatsu massage is a Japanese technique but is believed to have its roots with Buddhist monks who travelled across the sea from China thousands of years ago. The practices developed independently here and now are virtually unrecognisable from Chinese acupuncture and massage practices. Shiatsu is unique for its use of much of the massager’s entire body to apply the massage. While still using the hands, elbows and knees much more widely than other forms, it incorporates moves that apply body weight like a cantilever to deliver pressure to specific points. This is used especially in the part of Shiatsu massage that delivers stretches. Use your knowledge of Shiatsu to apply pressure to the same points that were discussed in acupressure. The great thing about Shiatsu is that its system of using so much of the massager’s body to apply pressure means that there is prolonged body-to-body contact between them and the massage recipient. This is ideal for sensual massage because it toes the line between erotic contact and pleasurable relief to the body, both of which contribute to sexual arousal and the sexual experience.
Some people believe that sexual energy is transmitted through the flow of blood, and this is a reasonable assumption considering that arousal in a particular region of the human body is always accompanied by a surge of blood to the area. Perfect examples to observe this phenomenon are the nipples, the clitoris and the penis. Using the same logic, it can be surmised that the release of sexual tension must be accompanied by a flow of blood away from the regions where it had accumulated. The cycle of ebb and flow of blood from regions where it accumulates during periods of sexual ecstasy must be maintained for sexual pleasure to continue unfettered in the future. The stresses of daily life, trauma and negative experiences, both sexual and platonic, can adversely affect the functions of the body. In some cases, the manifestations of stress and pressure in our minds are the inexplicable aches and pains that distress us. It is impossible to be at your peak sexual potential and performance when such maladies affect the body and mind. It is to counter these problems that the post-orgasm massage was developed. It focuses on assisting the flow of blood away from where it may have accumulated to return the body (and mind) to its neutral state. This will allow her body to excel at its normal functions and also put it in a state to best respond to future sexual stimulus. Fortunately, this is less complicated than understanding a Shiatsu or acupressure diagram. The spots on which you should concentrate are:
- The sexual zones – above and below the breasts; the hip area and pubic bone; the buttocks; the point at which the inner thigh meets the groin; the perineum.
- The erogenous zones – the neck and shoulders, the back
- Wherever else your partner complains of soreness, stiffness and/or restricted range of movement
As you would expect, the healthier, fitter and more flexible your partner is, the less likely she is to experience these discomforts. However, there is no down side to giving her a post-orgasm massage so using this technique after a lovemaking or sensual massage session is always a good idea. Besides the immense potential for benefits it holds for her, it is a fantastic way for you to bond as a couple and strengthen your relationship.
Chapter 4: Using the Facts to Develop Your Art
Massage is like a canvas, and you are the artist. What we mean when we use that analogy is that massage is versatile enough for you to use and adapt as you see best in your circumstances and with your partner. There are no steps to memorise like you are doing the tango; the techniques we outlined earlier are your paint and you are free to use them how they will create the most beautiful end result for you and the massage recipient. That said, there are some techniques that work better on some parts of the body (as indicated earlier) and also in some particular circumstances. Use that as a rough guide of sorts and build your own unique way of applying them around it. Remember, just like all things sexual, variety is the spice of life – don’t follow or develop a set sequence but rather go with the flow and work in what is working best for that person at that time. Similarly, reduce or remove elements that may have worked in the past. Here are some specific combinations that work towards specific goals. They are but guides that you should read, then apply your imagination to fill in the gaps when you put it into practice.
Enhancing Orgasm Duration
Prolonging the sexual experience is a great goal to work towards if both partners enjoy their interaction. Volumes have been written about it focusing on how to maintain control over your body to achieve this. Erotic massage, in the other hand, delivers it intrinsically. By focusing your physical touch not directly on the genitals but on erogenous zones located all over the body, the same result is achieved. What happens with this is that an aura is created around you both, one that not only encompasses sexual tension but true passion essential for the virility of a relationship. It sets you both abuzz with anticipation for the sexual climax while relishing the fact that it is not immediate, or even very close at hand. This is perfect method to employ if your enthusiasm for sex does not match – it gives the less eager partner time to ease into the mood while giving the other person small sparks of sexual pleasure that become part of the experience of sex.
A great way to begin this is with both partners giving each other a massage simultaneously. This is best done on a surface like a bed which gives you space. Start facing each other and engage in a visual interaction if you are both comfortable. If you like, complement it by exchanging words to put you in the mood. The massage itself can begin with you both looking into each other’s eyes while using simple effleurage as the first stage of contact. Use its sweeping movements to explore the face, neck and even hair, whose power to arouse has consistently been underestimated. The light touch should steer clear of overtly sexual zones. Remember that there is no rule that says that you have to mirror each other’s actions. The last thing you want is to end up with your arms tangled and impeding the flow of the moment. After this, move to the shoulders and torso. With their larger muscles, they require a heavier touch and kneading works well. At this point, simultaneous massage of each other is not really possible and the sensual effects of massage might be diminished if you try. If you feel better moving behind or beside your partner, or having them lie down to allow for better control, go ahead. Move lower to the thighs and hips, and perhaps the buttocks if you can resist the temptation to wander into more sexually-charged contact. Use percussion as and when you think or know it works on your partner. Move on to the lower legs, calves and feet. Pay attention to individual toes; pressing on the nail has been known to induce a wonderful release of tension. This entire portion of your interaction loosens your partner and prepares them for the rest.
Adjusting, Modifying, Improving
Always adjust your massage to how your partner responds to your touch. There are some conscious and subconscious cues that creep into their body language and the sounds they make that can tell you whether what you are doing is working well (or not). Little whimpers, sudden tensing or shuddering, and goose bumps are some of the most common signs. Also, when someone hungers for a particular type of contact, they try to lean towards it even when you move away. Just remember, this is not a sexual act in itself – if you are getting an extremely positive response doing something, ease back and let the pleasure subside to tease them.
Enhancing Orgasm Intensity
In most case, the ultimate aim of sexual contact is an orgasm. Most people would agree that the longer the period of build-up (up to a certain point), the more intense the ecstasy of release. Using that as a basis, we can surmise that massage is an excellent way to build up to a very intense sexual crescendo. Women are capable of experiencing very prolonged orgasms, and multiple ones at that. They have been created in a way that allows them to experience pleasure in waves to a capacity with which no man has ability to compare. Massage allows them to extend this even further. Men, with their markedly smaller window at the peak of intense pleasure, relish the idea of a method that extends it. In this sense, sensual massage is arguably the best option at their disposal. The equivalent of the penis in the male is the clitoris in the female. For the overwhelming majority of people, it is with the stimulation of this tissue that ultimately triggers an orgasm. While the penis is directly stimulated during intercourse, the clitoris is less so. To increase the intensity of a woman’s orgasm through massage, you will have to manipulate the clitoris during your ministrations.
The ‘Prolonged Desire’ routine that we touched on previously can act as a great lead-up to this method. If you do choose to use that approach, ease into this one once you have both reached a point where you are well on your way to sexual satisfaction. If not, start with effleurage with your partner lying flat on the surface you have chosen, be it a massage table, an inflatable mattress or your bed. Then, use the same basic techniques we touched on earlier to introduce your touch to your partner’s skin. Unlike professional massages which generally begin with the recipient lying on their front, have your partner lie on their back. Concentrate on sensuality, focusing on erogenous zones like the ears, the neck, certain points on the back and sides that she responds well to, the crook of the elbows and knees, the hip bone where it pulls taut against the skin, and the feet, paying particular attention to the arch of the soles. Do focus on sexual zones like the breasts, groin and buttocks. However, do not make it an exclusively sexual touch. For example, instead of playing with her nipples, just brush your hands or forearm across them while massaging another part of her body. If you want to pay attention to her breasts, do so but briefly before moving off and coming back again. The idea here is to push her well into the realm of a sexual experience but pulling back just enough to make wave over wave of pleasure flow through her as with a real orgasm. Elevate this level of excitement with each wave, driving her closer to the ultimate release but over a much longer period than to which she is accustomed. When you reach the point that you believe you should let her have an orgasm, you will have to home in on her hips and groin, which you can do whether she is lying on her front or back. If you have her with her buttocks to the ceiling, you may run your fingers between them teasingly on the way to her vagina. Should she be on her back, magnify the pleasure you give by flicking a finger randomly against her erect nipples as you approach her vulva with your other hand. A good technique to initiate contact with her vagina is to work it into how you address her legs. Grip one thigh so that the tips of your thumbs are touching while the fingers and palms of each hand are flat against the inside and outside of the thigh. Begin a long, sweeping movement from the knee to the top of the thigh so that your fingers rub against her vagina at the end of the stroke. If your finger manages to flick her clitoris on the way, even better. Repeat this several times for each leg. This can be done whether she is on her back or her belly. When she is responding with the right cues like spreading her thighs wider to give you better access, or rotating her hips, trying to initiate more prolonged contact between her sex and your hands. The best visual clue is usually the presence of moisture in and around her vagina, and perhaps the characteristic smell of her arousal with which you may be familiar. This is the ideal time to introduce direct manipulation on her vagina and clitoris. Some people begin this by directly massaging the vulva. This is done either with one hand where the fleshy tissue is massaged between the thumb and forefinger, or using both hands. Squeezing it, especially towards the top when it will press down on her aroused clitoris is especially effective. Another way is to lightly pat the swollen, puffy labia. This action is almost like an electric shock and will likely make her cry out and jerk with each contact. Please be very careful and do this with extreme care; a feather touch is all you need to achieve a fantastic reaction here. Finally, introduce a finger into her. One technique is to lightly run the tip of your finger up and down on her slit with just a slight pressure. Gradually increase this pressure but her slit will remain closed as her secretions will cause the flesh to stick together. Continue the movement until your finger manages to just push between her lips. The result is usually a loud gasp from her, very likely a huge tremor through her body, and a rising of her hips off the table, while you will be rewarded with the extreme heat of her body on the tip inside her. Move it in and out gently several times, venturing slightly deeper with each expedition. Perhaps she is content with one finger, perhaps two; very few women take more than three at once. When using this technique, use the flat of your thumb to flick, and then press and rub her engorged clitoris to deliver satiation through both penetration and clitoral stimulation. This is generally the most effective way to reach orgasm for a woman. Monitor her responses. If you really want to tease her, withdraw completely and return to massaging the buttocks and breasts. If you have had her on her back, turning her over onto her stomach to work on her glutes is a sure-fire way to discover how aroused she has become – she will rotate her hips and attempt frottage, pressing herself on the surface because she aches for release. You can continue to finger her to the orgasm from this position, too. Vary long and slow strokes with faster ones and try to sense the grip her inner muscles have on your fingers. Generally, the closer she is to a climax, the more firmly she will grip your fingers.
We hope that this rather quick exploration of massage and its power to repair, develop and stimulate relationships will be of some use to anyone looking to enhance his or her bond with their partner. It has touched briefly on a wide range of theories and techniques and we leave the exploration of the one(s) that appeal most to you on your own. We recommend you do your own research and exploring the wide world of possibilities on your own instead of spending extravagant amounts of money on a specialised class, unless you intend to make a career out of massage. Erotic massage is a free tool that any couple can develop to take their relationship where they want. Perhaps today is the day that you will begin an entirely new journey with your partner.