It’s like a secret club… which you could join whenever you wanted. Once you join, though, there’s no leaving. Yes, the Happy Ending Massage Veterans Club.
For those on the outside looking in, the wink-nudge massage parlour is an enigma of promise and mystery. For their benefit, we have an expert who has given her responses to some of the most commonly-asked and least frequently-answered questions about the job.
Q: How do I know which parlour offers the ‘special service’?
A: Watch out for these:
- Location is a big indicator – if it’s in some industrial area, that’s a sure sign.
- Otherwise, blacked-out windows are another giveaway.
- Step inside – if you see that all the people waiting are men, the odds are very high it’s what you are looking for.
- Decor tells a lot – you won’t find cutaway diagrams of the spine and vertebrae and psoas muscles on our walls.
Q: Has the job affected your personal relationships? Do you even have off-work sexual relationships?
Funnily enough, a former boyfriend introduced me to this. However, I think most men cannot handle their girlfriends doing this job. So, the job definitely has affected my personal relationships but more on the part of my partners and potential partners rather than me, myself.
Q: How ‘full’ is ‘Full Service’?
A: Easy – it means you get a handjob, blowjob and normal intercourse.
Q: How clean is the parlour?
A: We keep it clean because the guys leave but we have to stay there for hours every day. We change the sheets and towels after every client, and throw them out and get new ones regularly. Of course, standards vary from parlour to parlour but any decent establishment takes the basic precautions, and more, because it’s a business investment.
Q: In terms of money, how good is the job?
A: Well, I work my own hours and I make more money than some people toiling for hours in the heat, rain or sitting at a computer for hours on end. I can clear a grand a week most weeks and more when it’s busy or I do more hours.
Q: Does the job turn you off men? Are any of the girls lesbians?
A: I don’t think it can turn you off men – I still have a boyfriend and I enjoy being intimate with him. With the other girls, most will do a threesome because it’s so popular and pays well. Otherwise, I don’t think there are any out-and-out lesbians with whom I have worked. I think it would be too hard to be a lesbian and be sexual with men every day.
Q: What would you say if, at the end of your day, someone asked, “How was your day?”
A: Most days, I’ll just give a tired smile and think about the money I made. Most times, the days are just a drag and a blur of faces and bodies I would not even recognise an hour later. We occasionally have trouble with people who are intoxicated but the ‘mama-san’ and bouncers handle them. Sometimes, you meet a really nice, considerate, and even really hot guy! They are the bright sparks of the day. Be that guy.