Yoni

The thing about humans is that we are too often distracted by first impressions. One of the best examples of this is how the phallic symbol seems to be so commonplace, especially in ancient civilizations, while the feminine divine is apparently not. However, if we take the Hindu civilization in India, which is renowned for its overtly phallic symbols in temples, we will realise that our ancestors appreciated the nuances of the real word considerably more than we credit them with. The phallic Shivling of Hindu temples is never complete without a complementary circular or oval-shaped base on which it is always emplaced. That source from which the Shivling emerges in none other than its female counterpart, the Yoni; female Parvati to male Shiva. Remember, too, that Parvati is another form of the goddess of justice, Durga, and her even more fiery incarnation, Kali. The Sanskrit word, yoni means ‘womb’ but is also interpreted as ‘source’ or ‘origin’. In this etymology and association with the female divine power of the Universe, we see that learned people have always revered womanhood as the source of an innate and incredibly powerful connection with the Infinite. Our mission today is to reclaim that lost heritage and take control of our inherent right to our pleasure and freedom. The ancients were right. We are Goddesses.

Female Sexual Anatomy

Women’s rights to control their own sexuality was dealt a severe blow by none other than the esteemed Dr. Sigmund Freud himself when he claimed that clitoral stimulation during sex was characteristic of infantile women while sexually mature women could climax through penetration alone. In the middle of the twentieth century, Freud was proven to be mistaken in his claim. But what use was that for the countless women whose sexual maturity had been questioned and doubted by someone who knew but nothing of their sexual journeys? Beyond that first conclusive proof in the ‘50s and ‘60s, many more studies have been conducted. The result of all that accumulated knowledge is that Freud was more wrong than most people had imagined possible. The consensus now is that not only are women perfectly normal sexually if their stimulation zone extends beyond vaginal penetration but that they possess erogenous and exclusively erotic zones that go well beyond that confined local spot. When you look at the vagina, there are three areas that are unquestionably at the centre of the female sexual experience:

• The clitoris (and its associated nerve endings and tissue);
• The G-spot;
• The cervix (the opening of the womb).

Let us explore briefly these three regions and discover what lies behind their immense ability to excite and satisfy us.

The Clitoris

The clitoris has been seen as analogous to a man’s penis for a long time. The two tissues share the same propensity for enlargement and hardening upon sexual stimulation, and are both filled with tissue that contains more nerve receptors than other parts of the body. However, the clitoris is greatly underestimated in its size and in the number of nerve endings it contains. It is now believed that the tissue is home to between 3,000 and 5,000 of them, all dedicated exclusively to the pursuit of pleasure. This dense network of touch sensitive and excitable tissue continues into the body from the external part that we can see. It incorporates all the fleshy tissue around a woman’s groin, and this includes the inner and outer lips (labia minora and majora), and an unimaginably vast array of ‘sensors’ that cover the inside of the vagina. Research shows that sexual arousal triggers several key changes within the vagina. Firstly, there is secretion of lubricant fluids, which coat the inside walls of the vaginal passage. This is accompanied by a change in size and shape – the passage enlarges and lengthens into the body as it readies itself to welcome the penis.

The G-spot

The G-spot has become one of the most legendary chapters of the female sexual journey. From times where its existence was alluded to in stories women exchanged, to the identification of its general location in the average female, to the subsequent rejection of that evidence and the identification of a host of other spots, the G has been through a lot. The elusiveness of the G-spot can be attributed to the fact that it differs in size between women, as does its exact location. The result is a (rather fun!) way that many women have spent hours in search for the legendary home of vaginal sexual pleasure. Like the clitoris, the G-spot is also tissue that retains a relatively larger amount of blood when the woman is sexually stimulated and is more sensitive as a result. The G-spot is a repository of sensory memories; essentially, it stores both positive and negative associations of the past. These memories are those that the mind creates when the region undergoes significant and/or traumatic events like childbirth and sexual penetration. Some people associate the G-spot with female ejaculation, commonly known as ‘squirting’. Enamoured Taoists even named it a source of nectar and some in ancient China believed that drinking a woman’s nectar could even imbue longevity.

The Cervix

The cervix, deep inside the vagina, at the mouth of the womb is probably the least known of these three erogenous areas of a woman because of its remote location. It is believed in some circles that the cervix almost has a mind of its own and only fully reveals itself when it is intimate with a penis that meets its standards of performance, passion and sexual intensity. What follows now is mystical and you are free to believe whichever aspect of it as you believe possible. It is said that when the penis within the vagina is accepted by the cervix, the vagina begins to produce her ejaculation fluids, which the penis ‘drinks’. This transition from ‘giver’ (ejaculator) to ‘receiver’ (receptacle)of the penis supposedly creates some very erotic and blissful moments.

Arousing a Woman

Arousing a woman is a significantly more complicated affair than stimulating a man, and this fact represents the perfect opportunity for men to explore their lovers’ capacity for full-body orgasms. There is some research that suggests that women who are more vocal in expressing their pleasure actually intensify the power of their orgasms. Expressing sounds and vocal cues during foreplay, sexual contact and sexual intercourse are also very exciting for your partner because it involves another of the sense organs into the experience. This is sometimes poetically referred to as a musician’s relationship with his instrument; they begin as two, then come together to create sweet, beautiful music, and finally progress to a state where there is no musician and no instrument, but a seamless union of the two. This is what should be the ultimate goal for every couple that engages in lovemaking.

A Woman’s Welcome Surrender

Cultures have come and gone where the sexual arts were celebrated and the practice of these arts was something that was treated with respect and pride. Thousands of years ago, the Kamasutra was written, but that culture was repressed by invaders. Even from its text, we see that women were afforded privileged roles in sexual relationships. They embraced with open arms a culture where their pleasure was at the forefront of the sexual relationship. How wonderful it would be for women to be able to give them sexually as openly as they wished. The segments of society that wish for them to be covered up from head to toe and take away their right to interact freely do not understand that they only lose out themselves. Those very same women who give their husbands staid, unremarkable sex would be goddesses of passion, revelling in the ability to give and receive copious amounts of pleasure.

A Shared Promise

What good is a relationship if it is repressed? Are there not enough things in the world that we give control over our lives? Isn’t the yoke of money, the pressure of our careers, the burden of government and the self-imposed agony of repression enough? Must we also make and become burdens for our partners? A fulfilling sexual relationship is one of the best antidotes to many of the pressures that we face every day. This is not only because the fulfilment from a satisfying session of sensual lovemaking puts us at ease. It is also because that intimate bond we build with someone when we rest against them, our hearts pressed and beating together as we gaze into their eyes has no substitute. If you are a woman who has missed out on that opportunity, you have missed out on your birth right. Please do not take this as an inducement to have random, meaningless, faceless sexual relationships, though. That would be like taking your birth right, soiling it, and throwing it to the wind. Respect yourself in all that you do to awake the Goddess within. If you plan to wait until you find the right partner, that is the correct decision for you. But when you do find the right person, make sure they realise how lucky and how special they are to have the Goddess that is you.