Just when you think you are there, they move the goalposts.
What am I referring to? Well, consider this: you go to the grocery store and you get groceries every time; you go to the electronics store and you can always get electronic devices; you go to the car dealership and they inevitably try to push the latest model on you.
But you go to an erotic massage parlor… and the happy ending is not guaranteed. All your effort, time and money have been rewarded with limp kneads and nothing more.
(Yes, we found that out the hard way.)
To what do we owe this dastardly state of affairs and, more importantly, can we fix it?
Yes, my friends, Yes We Can.
Many erotic massage parlors are actually registered as regular massage parlors.
Here is a brief list of common reasons for this:
- Accreditation is an added expense.
- Registered erotic service providers have to abide by strict health regulations and testing.
- Non-erotic, regular massage customers are an attractive revenue source.
- They can function quietly in residential zones where there is considerable foot traffic.
That’s fine for them but it can be mightily inconvenient for someone whose hopes for a release have just been dashed. We empathize, and here is our checklist of how to virtually guarantee you get exactly what you need next time:
- Grooming – Any masseuse is more likely to offer her full range of services if you are reasonably dressed and don’t smell like you haven’t showered for a week.
- Strip – Once inside the room, obviously. Do not leave you underwear on either – this is the clearest sign to the lovely lady that you know what you want.
- Communicate – Keeping up some friendly, perhaps slightly suggestive banter, will put your masseuse at ease and show her you are a regular guy (who wants a happy ending).
- React – Don’t just lie there, give her some feedback when she approaches or touches the right spots. Don’t overdo it, though, your sexy moans are not as sexy as you might think.
- Ask – Discreetly, of course. Asking the person at reception may not always work because they may be reluctant to put the masseuse in a corner. The masseuse is probably the one to ask but leave that till all other tactics have failed.